


The stars on your skin, the flowers in my soul, what do they mean?

by KaneNogami



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Child Abuse, Hinata's depression is a warning in itself, In this house we can't stand the twins' father, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:20:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25369747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaneNogami/pseuds/KaneNogami
Summary: Koga believes that the kid—the louder twin, which doesn't say much as they are both annoying—is incredibly lucky. Being born, and growing without a soulmark, that must be the best. Not being forced by destiny to end up with a person which might treat you poorly is a huge improvement over whatever his situation is meant to be.For the last time, he couldn't care less.
Relationships: Aoi Hinata/Oogami Kouga
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18
Collections: Enstars Rarepair Week





	The stars on your skin, the flowers in my soul, what do they mean?

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Enstars Rarepair Week day 3, 4, and 5 - Soulmates, stars, flower. 
> 
> I typed this on my phone between midnight and 2 am, this might be a bit messy.

Koga is eleven when the ache develops inside his arm, burning pain spreading so fast he relents his grip on the chopsticks he was holding in the middle of dinner.

  
There is an embarrassing fuss over this, once it's apparent that there is no danger, parents grabbing him with joyful remarks, and an utter lack of care for his personal space.   
His skin is itchy to the point he has to physically restrain himself from digging his fingers straight into it, muttering an apology before fleeing the table. He understands, kind of, that his mother is encouraging him to grab painkillers if necessary. 

  
Of course it is! 

  
By the time he has swallowed one pill and wrapped his upper arm, to avoid being tempted to ruin it further, the realization crashes straight into him. 

  
He has a soulmate, or rather, now he is aware of it. Most people have one, alongside a mark which appears on the body during puberty. Side-effects include brutal pain, skin breaking open for the mark to emerge, nausea—he turns off his phone, crashing head first on his bed; that sucks. 

  
Who cares about that bullshit? 

  
The next morning, underneath bandages tainted with blood, he finds what appears to be tattoo—great that's the worst kind, he's gonna have to register it officially so his school doesn't think he is a junior delinquent—three sunflowers pressed against each other. While the colors appear dull, it's obvious they'll become vibrant with time, once the mark has completely appeared. 

Koga is eleven, and he already despises his soulmate for being so uncool. Flowers? Bleh. 

  
Hinata is thirteen when he tells his father—it's exciting isn't it? To finally have his mark, and before Yuta too! That definitely proves he's the oldest—about the soreness against his shoulder blade, and what he caught a glimpse of, in the mirror that morning. 

  
It's a Sunday and Yuta went out for a walk, thus a selfish part of him—spoiled child, unworthy—hopes that he'll finally have something to share with their father. 

  
He tugs on his shirt, not daring to completely remove it as the temperature has been too low over the past days; that must be their fault too, if the man cannot be on time with bills. They should have reminded him. 

  
His father stares, silence growing into unease within seconds. And then, pushing his chair back—it creaks against the wooden floor—he gets up. 

Hinata is thirteen, and he stays at the hospital for four days due to the burn on his shoulder blade. When doctors ask, he laughs—can't do anything else—explaining he attempted to reproduce a scene from a circus show, one with pyrotechnics. 

  
Nobody cares about the truth; even leading Yuta astray is a piece of cake.

  
(Their parents had matching soulmarks, and the twins broke that bond in an unfathomable way. How dare they be so driven by selfishness?) 

  
When Yuta turns fourteen, a four-pointed star appears behind his ear, barely visible due to ginger hair and headphones; Hinata makes him promise to never tell their father, without explaining why. 

  
Koga believes that the kid—the louder twin, which doesn't say much as they are both annoying—is incredibly lucky. Being born, and growing without a soulmark, that must be the best. Not being forced by destiny to end up with a person which might treat you poorly is a huge improvement over whatever his situation is meant to be. 

  
High school sucks in that department. Too many kids bouncing around, showing off their marks as if they were—urg, he finds it vulgar, and weird, to be so keen on finding their other half. On his upper arm, the sunflowers are hidden by a bandana, even when he has a long sleeved shirt.

  
For the last time, he couldn't care less.

  
Hinata only had his mark for one day, a lifetime prior. He has—remembering makes his skin crawl, terror blossoming inside his throat until breathing is impossible—not been acquainted with it enough to truly recall details. There were dots, linked together, forming a constellation he is terrified to look up in fear of discovering it truly exists.

  
Anyway, his brain is filled with missing parts, and that's not enough to find out which one it was. 

  
He doesn't deserve a soulmate. 

  
Koga notices; that's difficult not to when he takes baths often in, that his mark is... Fading wouldn't be the right word. It's more as if it was back into the first days, when colors were muted underneath blood. He doesn't get it—that cannot be only from his constant rejection of the concept—although he isn't certain he should waste his time with that.

  
Still, as he traces the mark with wet fingers one evening, half-immerged in water, he wonders if his soulmate is alright. 

Hinata steps into the library, cheerful expression slipping off as there is no one to witness it. He ducks his head, walking straight towards the computers. See, he could look it up on his phone, if Yuta didn't keep on borrowing it due to his never having battery.

  
He's sixteen and—would be great to know, maybe, to solve that mystery now. He still—Hinata refuses to have a soulmate, for their safety, for the shadow always looming over his shoulder. He isn't certain to last until seventeen though. 

  
Hence this meaningless search. He spends one hour clicking from one picture to another, brain too exhausted for texts, or lists. That's how he finds—that must be the right one, he muses, fingers grabbing the back of his shirt until his knuckles turn white—Canis Major The Greater Dog. 

  
He doesn't go further, turning off the computer, and exiting the library so fast he almost knocks a junior over on his way out. 

  
Koga cares. 

  
He does. 

  
Shit, that wasn't part of the plan. His mark is—the vibrant yellow is long gone, flowers behaving as if they were withering and he cannot accept that. He should—participate into that game the others have, comparing marks in front of everyone and—nah, that's not his style. 

  
(He asked, in second year, why Sakuma always avoided the topic, hoping to find a common ground with at least one person.

  
The answer left him dissatisfied though. Sakuma politely chuckled, lifting his hair to expose a bird apparently slice in two in the middle; complete rejection from a soulmate can damage the mark in such manner, although that's extremely rare. He explained, sitting on top of his coffin, that he had encountered his soulmate in England. They were simply quite different people. 

  
There is certainly more to that story, not that he felt like asking back then. And now it would be even weirder, after all this time.)

  
When they switch to Summer uniform, he decides not to wear the bandana around his arm. Fuck it. 

  
Hinata is hiding, which is foolish, as he will end up being late to class and it's his turn to clean the classroom at the end of the day, thus he'll have to return anyway. His chest is growing tight, bile forming in his throat, so close to end up on the floor. 

  
Oogami has—that must be a coincidence, that's the sole fitting explanation. The world is vast, incredibly so. What are the odds that they are bonded against their will? Nonetheless, if the constellation is Canis Major, they—

  
He muffles a cry against the back of his hand, not wishing to cause mayhem by existing. That's what always happens, doesn't it? 

  
Fingers drum against his head in the abandoned room, until he lifts his head, watery eyes staring at his twin. 

  
"You're running away from me, again."

  
How can be take back a lie whose roots have wrapped around his throat and heart a long time ago?

  
(He tries anyway. 

  
For Yuta.)

  
Koga is familiar with fury, how it guides your moves into something wrong and unsteady, clouding your vision and shaping your words into deadly blades. Yuta is seething, fingers twisting his arm without even a word or an explanation. 

  
"Oi, whatcha' doing ?" 

  
He snarls, freeing himself from the tight grip by pushing him backward. The boy collides against his brother, who seems to have grown smaller still their last meeting two hours prior. Or rather, he is hiding in the shadows of his own self, stepping between them as a sacrifice more than an act of courage. 

  
Yuta is faster though, spilling truths which aren't his to tell, basking in rage as he tugs Hinata back on his side. 

  
And Koga fails to get the point of this, of the boy without a soulmark and his brother. 

  
Until he does.

  
Or rather, he has to, without a choice. Yuta is crying, expression twisted into pure hatred towards neither of them, muttering about getting rid of that man, and it Koga who is forced to grab him, to grab Hinata too. 

  
He tugs them down until all three of them are sitting on the floor, refusing to release either boy for a while. He gets punched for that, and he isn't sure by which twin, in the shoulder, and his shirt is soaked with tears. He doesn't relent though, even when his legs start feeling uncomfortable from the position. 

  
Hinata confesses the story bit by bit—monster pretending to be kind that he is, watching their faces morph into what's probably pity—taking off his shirt to show the burn and making a meek attempt at explaining how it was before.

  
Yuta is upset because of Hinata, of having been tricked, refusing to directly look at him while he's speaking. 

  
And Oogami remains silent, brows twisted into a deep frown. 

  
"What the fuck," he eventually offers, "Yuta's right, let's end that motherfucker."

  
They do not 'end that motherfucker.' 

  
Sakuma Rei, however, pays Aoi senior a long and delightful visit with tea and pastries. The kind which twist humans' insides for some days, causing atrocious, albeit not life-threatening, pain. 

  
That's a warning, nothing more. 

  
No one is allowed to touch his precious children.  


Soulmarks, once pressed against each other are supposed to have an immediate reaction. It takes three weeks for Koga to dare asking; he hasn't made peace with any of this, especially not the part about the twins being abused to such extend. 

  
"My skin is all burned, there is no mark any longer." 

  
"Then we'd have wasted ten seconds, not a big deal."

  
It is one. Hinata nods anyway, people pleaser than he tends to be against his will. If it fails—even if it works out, what the hell will it mean? That they should date or some shit? Koga inhales deeply, pressing his shoulder against the kid's back, using his remaining hand to lift his shirt. 

  
They glow. 

  
Both marks. 

  
Obviously, Hinata's harder to notice, faint points trying to connect underneath his touch, struggling. As for his—the sunflowers are blooming again, or so it seems. 

  
Hinata' shoulders drop, and Koga, too captivated by his own surprise, by the warmth in his stomach, realizes that he forgot to say anything. 

  
"It's working, like... Ah fuck don't have enough hands to snap a pic—it's cool though, can't you feel it?" 

  
That's gonna be the most awkward shit he has ever said out loud, congrats to his brain.   
As the other shakes his head, the gesture seemingly taking an impressive effort out of him, Koga severs the touch. No use making this even weirder. 

  
"I'm not lying—" 

  
"No worry, I believe you~" Hinata's voice rises and then crashes into heaviness against his tongue as he presses fingers against his marred shoulder. "I don't feel a lot lately. In general?" 

  
"Oh."

  
So, that means he was right to be worried? There was a conflict in his mind over the whole thing, his yearning for—answers. What is terrifying is how much he cares for Hinata, how his thoughts keep on jumping back to the other. Disorganized mind scrambling to get contradictory desires together. 

  
He has never wished for a soulmate.   
He doesn't want to avoid Hinata either. 

  
Isn't there some—middle ground where he could lay down and let his bones and skin be consumed by this newfound care? 

  
"They could have called it the wolf constellation, not the greater dog. Since, ya' know, the greater dog must be a wolf—fuck I'm rambling, I—" 

  
"Oogami, you dislike soulmates, don't you?" 

  
"Yeah. No. Okay, fine I do," on an impulse, he wraps, loosely, an arm around Hinata from behind, making the boy lean against his chest, "I don't wanna be forced to love someone. That would suck."

  
"Do you believe that everyone deserves to be loved though?" 

  
"Most people."

  
"Do I?" 

  
"Watcha sayin'? Of course you do."

  
"Ah," fingers brush against his arm, finding the three sunflowers and pressing against them tentatively, "thank you."

  
That's awkward, yet they remain like that for a while. 

  
Hinata never longs for break, his body stiff at the sole mention of returning into a house which lacks a feeling of safety. He packs anyway, cat carrier in one hand and his bag in the other as he makes his way at the entrance of the dorms. Out of nowhere, white hair appears in his field of vision, bag removed from his grasp.

  
"Been waitin', your brother is already in the car with his demon spawn."

  
Wait, which car? The demon spawn is definitely Yuta's adorable, and also quite mischievous, cat who thinks that fingers are merely an easy prey to pounce on. 

  
As he is blinking, uneasy with change and anything odd in his routine—sticking to it is a challenge in itself, although it keeps him in an illusion of control—he almost misses the way Koga lifts a hand to ruffle his hair. 

  
"My parents have invited you two over for break, and no worry they have stuff for the cats, just don't let your beasts bother Leon too much." 

  
This is way too sudden—memories of their father not being home, having to climb to the first floor to force a window open, fridge empty and only getting scolded as the man finally returns—and he wants to snap that's not fair to decide for him, that he can—he cannot. A few years earlier, he certainly would have been able to be on his own. The past months, however, have been a mess out of his control, leaving him afraid of falling where nobody can reach him. 

  
"I haven't told my parents you're my—you know—and it's better if we avoid the topic because they would go ham on you with questions and stupid sparkles in their eyes. Just—come over, relax and..." 

  
"Thanks, Oogami," he tries to smile, the expression unsteady. 

  
Fingers brush against the corners of his lips, without strength, "Don't force yourself, I like ya' even when you feel like shit—that sounded wrong somehow, sorry."

  
Crimson has invaded Koga's face, he notes when the other removes his hand to tucks it as deep as possible inside his pocket. 

  
"You teased me about being adorable before, but you have a cute side too~"

  
"Shut the fuck up, and get your ass into the car."

  
In itself, that's the best break Koga ever had, outside of first grade when his parents took him to a theme park and there was this adorable puppy who licked his ice-cream after he dropped it on the ground. The twins are a handful, since they invade his space, and he wakes up with three fury friends on him instead on one in the morning. Leon, whatever distaste dogs can have towards cats, has accepted them faster than anticipated, as long as he had time by himself with Koga and his parents. 

  
At least, Hinata and Yuta avoid sleeping on him, for which he is grateful. His mark itches slightly some morning, ones where Hinata pours too many marshmallows in his hot chocolate, sitting alone with his mug in the garden. He—Koga is on the fence about that connection and what it implies. It's mostly one-sided, as Hinata's constellation has been damaged beyond repair. 

  
After chasing the weight on his lap, still in pajamas, he heads directly outside, dropping his weight on the grass next to the other. 

  
Most of the time, there is a lack of conversation, they stare at the rising sun until Koga decides it's enough and goes back to bed to finish his night—he'll never be an early riser. 

  
On some mornings though, when Hinata offers him his mug, or that they sit shoulder against shoulder, he wonders if he isn't falling in love with the other.

As clouds invade the early sky, on their last day before returning to Yumenosaki, and the sun remains hidden for longer than at the beginning of the month, he grabs a marker before making his way downstairs. 

  
"Lift up your shirt," he suggests, voice laced with sleep, holding up a picture of Canis Major on his phone, "I'mma draw that on your back and take a picture." 

  
"Why?" 

  
"You miss it, I guess? Like, you do that thing where you touch your shoulder and your body shrinks..." 

  
"You noticed?"

  
"Yeah, Hina', I fucking care about—don't want you to be sad."

  
Or sadder. It's hard to pinpoint what Hinata has grown accustomed to by that point. After a while, the other nods, giving his permission. He has to muffle three yawns while tracing each dot and then linking them together, not eager to have to wake up early for the car ride the following morning. 

  
"It's done!" 

  
Snapping a picture and handing the phone to Hinata, that's the easy part. Watching his reaction is not. 

  
Tears do not fall, although they are close to, fingers clenched around the phone while he leans forward, distressed by the truth. What has been stolen from him when he was a child, father banning him from receiving affection ever again. 

  
Koga doesn't—it's impossible to describe how Hinata is feeling, all he knows is that it's beyond his grasp. Being there though, is what he intends to do. They sit together for longer than usual, phone eventually returned. 

  
"Would it be okay to love you?" The youngest whispers, as the first rays of sunshine reach the house. 

  
"Yeah, I think?" 

  
"Okay." 

  
Koga has never wanted a soulmate; too unpredictable, possibly annoying or even dangerous. When Hinata presses a kiss against the corner of his lips—he hasn't changed his mind. He doesn't wish for someone to have half of his soul, or for them to be linked together. 

  
A boyfriend though, that would be nice.

Hinata has always believed that he was born under a cursed star, unworthy of having a soulmate to carry that burden for him. It's still what he believes in. As Koga runs his fingers through his hair, lips on his, he thinks that he can try being in love. 

  
As an equal. 


End file.
